In Retrospect, Benjamin Franklin Was Right About A Lot Of Things

I think I’ve finally uncovered the secret to being a responsible, productive, and successful member of society. From this moment forward, I’m done with the millennial notion of trying to adult- I have now officially transitioned into just being an adult. It’s been nearly thirty years of trial and error, but I’m pretty sure that this time I’ve cracked the code. I am in my element. I am thriving, you hear me?

So now, I’m going to share my success with the rest of you. Are you ready? Are you prepared to hear the One Weird Trick that’s going to change your life? (Spoiler Alert: you are going to hate it.)

Stop sleeping in.

That’s it. Really, truly, honest-to-God, that’s the whole secret to getting one’s shit together. Wake up early, and you’ll find that your entire life seems to have transformed overnight.

Yes, exactly like your mother used to say when rushing you out of bed to get ready for school. I hated it as a kid, and as a teen, and as a young adult- believe me, I get it. But what can I say? It turned out to be entirely correct.

But if you don’t want to give your parents credit for being right about this one, you can tell everyone that you got it from the most famous Benjamin Franklin quotation: Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.

Now, I’m not going to advocate too hard for going to bed early, because I’m well-aware of just how many true crime documentaries NEED to get watched. And I’m not going to say that merely getting up early has categorically resulted in my being any wealthier, either.

But healthy and wise? Oh, hell yeah. I’ve got that in spades these days.

For the past three weeks, I’ve been waking up at seven o’clock every morning to get in a long cardio session before starting the day. Not just regular workdays, but weekends, too. And I’m serious- it is the secret.

The amount of energy that you have for the rest of the day when you start the morning with some physical activity is crazy. It doesn’t have to be a full hour of spinning, but just about anything is better than lazing around in bed.

The amount of mental clarity that you gain when you actually have time to eat a proper breakfast before work is astounding. Instead of taking the first hour in the office just trying to boot up your brain, you get there and you’re already operating at full capacity.

And the number of extra hours that you somehow suddenly gain by adding even one additional hour to the top of your day is staggering, logic-defying, and also the key to having enough time to get everything done.

Plus, if you’re anything like me, you’ll probably discover that waking up early is a fail-safe strategy to decrease your general anxiety. Instead of spending most of the day worrying about all the things on your list for later, you knock a bunch of them out of the way first thing and then never have to think of them again. Hell, if you get up early enough, you can even start getting things accomplished before your anxiety has a chance to wake up fully. Truly, this is the fabled win-win-win situation. (That one was just for you, fans of The Office.)

But for real: get up early tomorrow. Trust me.

Author: Bryanna Doe

Author, storyteller, comedian, songwriter.

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