Sunday Column

The best advice I’ve ever gotten is to write on a regular schedule. This is my attempt to produce a new piece every week.

Elliott Stabler is the Bad Cop That America Needs Right Now

[Slight spoilers ahead for Law & Order: Organized Crime. But if you’re the kind of person who likes being surprised by a narrative, you’re probably not a fan of Law & Order. HEYO!] It’s been a minute since I’ve bothered watching a police procedural drama. Firstly, because once you’ve seen three of them, you’ve seen…

Hiatus Seems To Be The Hardest Word

I started this blog in January of 2020- mostly because I had just undergone the misfortune of seeing CATS in theaters, and I needed to talk to someone about it. But also because I had this idea that forcing myself to write at least one piece every week would help me cement the habit of…

Ain’t Nobody Got Time For Your Whataboutism

I have a terrible habit of commenting on news stories that I see on Facebook. And especially when the story is about social justice, or race relations, or politics in general. I know I shouldn’t. I know that a distressing majority of the comments I’m going to get in response will be from some stupid…

THREE DAYS LATER: An Easter Story

Happy Easter! Please enjoy an excerpt from this pulp retelling of the resurrection of Jesus, wherein he’s a Mexican gunslinger in the Old West. *** PROLOGUE It was a beautiful day for a hanging.  The desert was still and serene, as though heaven and nature both had stopped in their course to observe the moment…

America’s Racial Reckoning, Cont.

I really thought that the United States had learned a lesson about racism during 2020. I mean, we spent all summer on it. I thought we were at least past the point of arguing about whether or not racism exists, you know? But as usual, it was incredibly naive of me to have any optimism…

Honestly, I Would’ve Been Happier With An Asteroid Scenario, But Whatever

A year ago, my city made some of the scariest and most surreal announcements that I had ever heard. You know exactly what I’m talking about: Pandemic. Quarantine. Lockdown. Shelter in place. State of Emergency. Isolate. Don’t breathe the air. Don’t touch the surfaces. Don’t panic. No, really, don’t panic. *KILL BILL SIREN NOISES*DON’T FUCKING…

In Retrospect, Benjamin Franklin Was Right About A Lot Of Things

I think I’ve finally uncovered the secret to being a responsible, productive, and successful member of society. From this moment forward, I’m done with the millennial notion of trying to adult- I have now officially transitioned into just being an adult. It’s been nearly thirty years of trial and error, but I’m pretty sure that…

Putting The Fun In Fundamental

Did anyone else used to read? I sure did. In fact, I used to inhale books at a dazzling speed. I read Stephen King’s entire body of work in a single semester during middle school. I finished every Harry Potter book in under three days- yes, even Order of the Phoenix. I don’t think there…

Variations On The Theme Of Writer’s Block

This past week, I decided that it was finally time to revisit my NaNoWriMo project. I was feeling excited about the idea, and ready to do some editing with fresh eyes- and then I opened the word document, and immediately got smacked in the face by my old nemesis Writer’s Block. So I did a…

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